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  • Writer's pictureAllie Moroney

My Fear of Milk, Part 4

I took some time to think and pray about it... and I decided that I love me an oat milk cappuccino.

Like all cappuccinos, it's a delicate balance between coffee and milk, specifically the ratio of milk to foam.–the barista in me could go off about this, but I'll save that for another day.

I like the acidic taste of coffee mixed with the warm earthy notes of oats. It doesn't matter what time of the year it is– rain or shine, blazing hot or freezing cold– I'll pay the additional 10 cents for a hot oat milk cappuccino.

Yet, with Marriage, I'm undergoing changes in pretty much every aspect of my life. The two becoming one is a process, but upon further reflection, I think this will be on-going for the rest of Marriage.

As I am in the thick of this change, I am struck by how my husband and I adapt and adopt one another's habits. Sometimes, this is out of delight–discovering new ways to do something can be fun! Other times, we submit and sacrifice our preferences for the sake of peace. Most of the time, adapting is done out of pure convenience. It's a lot easier when we find common ground and stick together.

When it comes to food, we especially don't have time or money to accommodate to each of our specific preferences and cravings. We have our little snacks and habits– my husband doesn't like fruit, while I need fruit after every meal. My husband eats an insane amount of nuts, while I prefer just a handful of almonds before bed to help me sleep. I love a wide variety of vegetables, he's okay with eating lettuce, tomato, and onion every day for the rest of his existence etc.

My husband's diet includes a lot of dairy products– heavy cream, cheese, yogurt, kefir, etc. Having those items around the home has been an adjustment for me. My old food rules and fears avoid dairy as much as possible.

When we first got married, I stuck with my oat milk and he stuck with his heavy cream. He invited me several times to try some in my coffee. I admittedly declined out of fear. One day he asked me to try some oat milk, as we enjoyed our dark chocolate dessert after dinner. Though he still prefers real dairy, he acknowledged it wasn't as bad as he thought.

There was something about sharing that experience with him that gave me courage to let go of my fears.. One thing I admire about my husband is that he loves to share. He has a particular gift for always moving in a way of relationship. When things are stressful, tense, etc., Fernando leans in. I tend to move away, but with time, my heart is learning to trust.

About a month ago I tried heavy cream in my morning coffee.... and now I'm hooked.

Don't get me wrong– when I go to a coffee shop, I'm still ordering an oat milk cap. But on the daily, an espresso or black coffee with heavy cream is really hitting the spot.

In part 1 of this series of blogs, I started out by sharing the truth that my fear of milk has not necessarily left me. As I articulated above– this is something that I still think about and struggle with.

In the case of milk in particular, being able to enjoy a glass of milk with dessert after dinner, heavy cream in my coffee, and then later an oat milk cappuccino from the cute coffee shop by my house, are all fruits of the great work God is doing in my heart. My ability to be able to enjoy the present moment, regardless of the dairy products or dairy alternative products present is what really matters. In the past I would have been bound in my head to lies and attacks of the enemy. Now I know how renounce lies when they come knocking at my door, and alternatively reach out to trusted loved ones for help when I need reinforcements.

I've learned the goal is not necessarily ridding myself of fear, but rather being able to choose faith in the face of the fear. In all the broken places, where I experience emotional, physical, or spiritual distress, I'm continually humbled and amazed to receive the healing love of God in and through it all.

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